THE VOICE OF HOPE

It's All Good Here ~ We create Hope with Words to bring out the "BLESSED" in you!

Fighting Back Against the Desire to Die

on September 14, 2012

16He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
17 He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
18 They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the Lord was my support.
19 He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Psalm 18:16-19

 

Suicide is never an easy topic to discuss, but at one time I had to face it in my life. I went through about a four year period where I was just stuck spinning my wheels in grief. There were days that I didn’t want to get out of bed. There were times when I just wanted to be alone. There were times I just wanted to scream because I could not communicate what was going on with me.

I was grieved to the point of thinking suicidal thoughts. I would run and hide in the bathroom or the closet because while I was suffering and struggling to survive, so much was demanded of me at the same time. I felt like I would be better off dead. I imagined I would stab myself in the heart because that is where I hurt. My heart ached as if something in me had died. I thought about an overdose because that was less of a mess and I wouldn’t hurt any more.

I sought the Lord, over and over again with no relief. I finally told someone close to me how I felt. That discussion was even worse than what I was thinking of doing. The other person asked me why I wanted to kill myself and told me that it didn’t make sense. I remember being upset thinking well, what good is it to talk to someone when you end up feeling worse off than before you said anything?

It occurred to me that when you announce that you want to die or you thought about harming yourself, everyone will not understand. You cannot just talk to anyone about your situation. It helps to talk to someone who has been in that situation. When I found someone to relate to me I was able to get more in touch with the root of my issue.

You see, when you go through something that wounds you to your soul, it’s hard to recover. Yet, the people around you tell you, you need to get over it. You want to and you just can’t- at least not on their timeline. You have to work through your grief on your time, not somebody else’s. When you get to the point where you want to die, it’s dangerous that the desire is in you. It’s not too late to get help. Be prepared because it may take overcoming some hurdles to get resolve.

I finally had a breakthrough realizing that although I hurt deep within my soul, there was a reason for it. I got into my bible more, and it became clear that God had a plan for my life. The devil has never, ever wanted me to succeed. Satan also knows the plans God has for my life and he knows it’s good! I am such a threat to the enemy he has to plot to take me out by my own hand! I couldn’t make the devil’s plan for me easy. I fought back. I empowered myself with God’s word. The word led me to Psalm 18:16-19. I was emotionally flooded as if in ocean waters. God rescued me because he delights in me. He delights in you too!

The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP) reports that “every 14.2 minutes someone in the United States dies from a suicide”( AFSP, Facts and Figures, 2009). By the time you finish a 30 minute lunch break close to 30 people have died by their own hand. In one day, the number of people is over 1,300.

Praise God that I never attempted what I was thinking. Yet, I’m sharing this today because I know somebody is thinking about it. Please do not suffer in silence. Get help. I am living proof that the best times of your life are yet to come. Let God show you how much He delights in you.

***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Life Prayer

Dear Lord,

I remember clearly when I was going through that time in my life wondering why you made me and why you allowed me so so much misery. It seemed like you were not even there, but you were. You delivered me, you rescued me, and you saved me.

You gave me a testimony to share with other people. Thank you! I pray that the right people who need to read this will know that you are speaking to them personally and there is a reason for the struggle. Trust and believe in God’s plan and do not give the devil a “W” in his game against you. To God be the glory. AMEN!

The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Facts and Figures; 2009; Retrieved on September 12, 2012 from http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?page_id=04ea1254-bd31-1fa3-c549d77e6ca6aa37

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Thus Saith The Lord God

The writing of the Holy Bible continues published by GROY

THE VOICE OF HOPE

It's All Good Here ~ We create Hope with Words to bring out the "BLESSED" in you!

kacidiane

This is a story expressed through multiple forms of poetry.

G.E.M.S.

Empowering Souls

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